I moved to The Bay Area from Los Angeles almost a year after I graduated college. I was mostly focused on working and going out with my friends. I was having the time of my life. I had been single for about a year and a half and was ready to get back into the dating scene.
I was in such a good place in my life. I was living on my own with friends that I’ve known for about five years. I was a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree. I had an amazing job that paid well. And my new friends were such a great time that I loved spending time with. The only thing missing was love.
That’s when I turned to online dating. I met my previous significant other on a dating app so I figured I could start there. I had been through my share of dates and even experienced being catfished for the first time. Finally, I matched with one that seemed interesting enough and an actual possible connection.
When and Where.
About a month and half or so of texting, we agreed to finally meet in person. He suggested Mexican food. I love Mexican food. Good start, right?
When I arrived, he was sitting in the corner booth. He stood up as I approached and gave me a hello hug. We sat down and ordered food.
There were moments of silence. I can admit that it was a little bit awkward at first. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I am not sure if it was because it was our first meet or the fact that I was still nervous about meeting him.
After we finished eating and getting to know each other a little bit, he walked me to my car. We had discovered that we both shared a passion for smoking weed. So, what did we do? Smoked in my car of course.
That was the ticket. As tense as we were in the beginning of the date, we loosened some of the tension. And then he told me about his story–his family dynamics. He was basically raised by his grandparents. His grandfather passed away just three months before my grandfather did. He didn’t talk to his mother. His sister was a vindictive person. He used to be his grandmother’s caretaker–the only living person he truly cared about. But his sister took over her care and moved to a completely different state. The only person he had left was his father.
He also talked about how all of his relationships in the past didn’t really work out. He painted this picture of how each one of them hurt him in some way which is why things never really worked out between any of them.
Hearing about his pain and what he wanted in a relationship, I knew I could offer exactly that and so much more. I had been through so much hurt and pain in the past myself. I knew I could give all the love and support without hurting him because all I wanted was a forever love.
Finding someone I could spend the rest of my life with was my goal in dating this time around. That’s what he said he was looking for as well. So, I figured it would be safe giving this one a try. What could go wrong?
Apparently, it was everything.