Episode 5: Growing Tensions.

I have always been an independent person. I never liked to rely on anyone for anything. I do what I want when I want to do it. And being single for at least a year and a half before this relationship reinforced this part of me even more. The funny part about all of this was the fact that we’re both Aquarius sun signs. We have the same outlook on character traits especially independence and not being tied down to anything.

I had so many things going on at the same time and had to multitask for most of it. I moved to a new location for work which I was going to be in charge of while the manager was on maternity leave. I was in training to become an official assistant manager. I had to stay on top of meeting my sales quota for the month. I was the only one searching for apartment possibilities for us to move into. And I was pretty much forced to fill out all of his civil suit paperwork and put together his case against the landlord that wronged him.

Accusations.

We finally managed to find an apartment. So that was one thing off my list. One night, I was driving home and my brother called. We hadn’t talked in a while so when I got home, I stayed in my car to catch up. My brother and I have always been really close. I lost track of time and finally went inside. When I got into the apartment, my parents called. I went to the next room because he would play his video games loudly. We lived in a one bedroom apartment so it was literally just a wall that separated us.

He never mentioned anything about these bothering him until it came down to an argument. He would alleged talking shit about him to my brother. He assumed that I was hiding things from him when I stepped away to talk to my parents. And he would accuse me of hanging out with other men when I wouldn’t come home right away. It was such a mess and extremely draining.

Wild Goose Chase.

You know when you just listen and observe things people say? They will eventually tell the truth if you just let them talk. When we first met, he said that his car was in the shop but somehow ended up at impound. Well, that’s how I figured out he never had a car to begin with. And if he did, it was gone a really long time ago.

Because I had a car, I would have to pick him up and drop him off wherever he needed to go. When he was angry with me, he would tell me to pick him up at one location. As soon as I arrived, he would give me a different address to go to. I hated when he did this especially because he always used to say that I was really bad at communicating when in reality, it was him. He even had the audacity to call me petty when it was never my intention or ever crossed my mind to be. It was so draining because I always had to hold my tongue or risk another argument altogether.

Antisocial.

I loved hanging out with my friends and went out with them quite often. They would invite me to bring him along, but every time I asked him, he never wanted to. At times, it was absolutely fine with me that he didn’t tag along. But other times it would bother me that he wouldn’t. When we did hang out with people, it was always just his friends.

After a while, I had decided that I did not want my friends to really know him. His moods were unpredictable and just outright embarrassing. I didn’t want anyone to know how he truly treated me because it was completely different from how he treated me behind closed doors. The ones that actually met him thought he was a really cool person because that’s the image he wanted to portray. But he had such an entitling personality that he had something bad to say about every single person—sometimes even his own family.

Although I was slowly noticing patterns and characteristics about him that was not healthy, it was hard for me to accept that was truly who he was. I studied sociology with an emphasis in criminology and criminal justice and had also taken psychology classes. There was this lingering feeling that I knew exactly what type of person he was but felt that it was his issues that he had to deal with. I was also never one to judge or even try to change anyone. But a big part of me had been in this huge denial about how unhealthy the relationship was. Why? You’ll just have to find out next Friday.

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